My rating: 1 of 5 stars
Nope. Steinbeck writes some near-perfect sentences; James Salter, not so much.
Try this one:
“There’s a comfortable feeling of delivering myself into the care of those who run these great, somnolent trains, through the clear glass of which people are staring, as drained, as quiet as invalids.” (Salter, James. A Sport and a Pastime (Open Road) (Kindle Locations 27-29). Open Road Media. Kindle Edition.)
Huh? Feelings about trains through glass invalids?
Okay, how about some powerful metaphors?
“Canals, rich as jade, pass beneath us, canals in which wide barges lie.”
Canals rich as jade? How is jade rich? in color? in gem value? The water is hard and green but rich? I get that the water is green, but how is that rich like jade? This line falls flat.
How about some sentence fragments strung together to make the prose really shine?
“St. Julien du Sault–its hotel seems empty. Shocks of hay now, bundles of it. Great squares of corn. Cezy–the station like scenery in a play that has closed. Pyramids of hay, mansards, barricades. Orchards. Children working in vegetable gardens, JOIGNY is printed in red.”
I guess you had to be there.
And that’s just in the first chapter. I don’t care if the sex later in the book is really good, the foreplay is not. I’m done.